Brain Log Entry# 10,000: Memo to self, June 15th. 11:26pm,
I have to get to the bottom of a PMS’ers mind.

Picture this I am a surfer out on a very choppy surf on a nine footer. I have all but forsaken the hope of riding in any good waves tonight. I am just thankful that I can cling to something solid to stay afloat.
Back to reality: I have a beautiful woman laying next to me in bed with some things on her mind that she needs to get out. On a verity of topics (I think that she might have just passed the 70×7 rule by one) most of which I had nothing to do with but I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time. Gasp!

I couldn’t put my finger on it but there seemed to be this aura of mixed emotions in the room (A flurry of sorts) But nothing that I, in my limited knowledge of women can start to put a pinkie on.

Then it starts! And I don’t know how it usually starts out for you, but for me it goes something like this. Beautiful woman “I feel that you don’t love me anymore.” Followed up closely by “I feel fat and ugly” Then “You don’t show me that you care about me enough”. And just when I think that I start to see a pattern developing. The topic changes to something that is so totally different (like ” I wish that we had a puppy”) then I start to get motion sickness as I realize that I am just about to get curled by a PMSing wave.

Now guys don’t get me wrong here. I am not trying to shriek my duty’s of being the crying shoulder for my damsel in distress. But just for the sake of doing a better job at it I am trying to analise what is going on with a woman’s thought patterns at a delicate time like this.

So as I am clinging to my board looking out over this very volatile, wet, roller coster like sea.
I cry out to the Lord by saying O Lord! Are you serious! He heard that, and I think that he let something click in my brain. Just relax and let the wave take you for a ride. Now, I should be used to this by now after being married for 7 years. But for some reason I have never gotten used to the idea that whether I liked it or not that this will happen. And If I am going to be taken for a ride I might as well roll over and take it with a smile for the good of all the male species that I like to think that I represent.

I think that there is a difference between being a mangina and just letting a women vent. Finding the balance is the hard part. Questions that come to mind are. If I let all this go now and not try to defend myself or my fellow brothers will she expect that all the time? Where is the nearest door? etc.

Well I really don’t have an answer for the first one. And I need someone else to help out with that, if any of you have any words of direction for me that would be great.
Anyways, so true to His word, I took it by faith and just let this Tsunami overtake me and for the next 45 min I just sat there and listened to… oh lets say about 150 different topics, and just tried to enjoy her company and you know what? By the time she was done I think I had learned to hang ten off the end of my board. Not bad, not bad at all.

I have in no way mastered the art of the PMSer. And next time I will probably make a mess of things. But I am happy that I got thorough that one o.k. and that is no small victory. PTL!
I do think that I learned a few things along that way though, that I want to pass around to all you out there who suffer from VOPMS (victim of pre-menstrual syndrome) can think about. And if you feel like it, explore it, and expound as I think that it would be cool to have a PMS open source solutions club of us guys. I will help to scratch your back if you will help me with my itch.

1) If you want to make a rebuttal do it fast, like in the next 30 seconds! As if you wait any longer that wave will have passed and you will be on to the next emotion and they will most likely think that you are being insensitive by not keeping up with them.
2) Just listen and most of all keep a sober but caring face on.
3) Don’t touch breast or any sensual part of her body as she might feel that you just like her for sex.
4) Gently rub the back and say things like I am so sorry about that. I really will try to do better next time ( and then do try)
5) Don’t say I think that your over- reacting.
6) Pray like a house on fire.
7) Ask God for a distraction (just kidding)
8) This one really is important guys so listen up! Whatever you do don’t say You are just PMSing.
9) And some of the tail tail signs that she is PMSing is when you ask what is wrong and she will says “You” or ” I am just tired/hungry/frazzled etc.”
10) Keep in mind that if you play it right that in the morning it will be as if it never happened, and you can go on your merry way with a song in your heart and a bounce in your step.
11) Listen up, but don’t listen too good as she will say things that she really doesn’t mean.
Especially the mean and bad stuff.
12) KGFG! Amen!
13) Fake a migrane and start furiously rubbing your temples while letting out restrained moans of agony. This will surely take her mind off her ever present issues and will awaken the kindly Florence Nightingale within. –Jer
14)Follow the counsel put forth in getting stronger Pt.4 and direct her to go talk to her home shepherds about her problems, pointing out all along how you would love to help her but your not quite as spiritually equipped as the home shepherds are to give her the answers she needs. This of course won’t work if you are one of the home shepherds, In which case you should refer to trick #13. –Jer

Well let me know if you have anymore pointers and I can add them to this list.
I don’t want this to be a PMSer bashing party as this is something that is put in the heart and soul of every true woman. I just want to better understand and relate to them.
I have just watched an excellent movie to add to my ever growing list of love stories in an endless quest to learn the inner tickings of the female mind. It was called Spanglish. With a very caring and sensitive man. Way to go Adam Sandler!

I know that this might not be the best thing for a girl to read and the reason for that….. is that it is not for you. Sorry these are intimate details of a guys life from a guy for the guys.
However if you have anything to add to my list I would more then welcome it.

In closing I want to say that I love my wife immensely and she really does have to put up with a lot with me. Thanks baby for all that you do for me and with me. I couldn’t have done this post without you.

Posted on June 25th, 2005 by John
Filed under: Read It