(Jesus Speaking)
This is something that is funny and good for laughs and some of this is very true to you in your situation. Just be careful that you don’t get to carried away with it to the point that it becomes more of an attitude of mocking or making fun of my most beautiful creation, women. So have a good time with it but keep it in check.

The Guys’ Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys’ side of the story.
(I must admit, it’s pretty good) Not they they mean much in fact they mean nothing at all. There is no way that I could enforce this in my household unless of course I got permission from Abi. And I don’t really know any man that could. Someone might get away with enforcing one every now and then. But all of them and on a consistent basis? Don’t think so. I got this from a good friend of mine who believe me, knows a fair bit about women. And not even he can enforce rule one of one.

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered
“1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you
leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like
nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you
don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine…Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Posted on July 24th, 2005 by John
Filed under: Read It